Missed Independence

Why am I misquoting the title to a Kelly Clarkson song? Because vertigo takes a lot from you as part of an illness. Sometimes it slowly takes parts of your life away; other times it takes something that is gone in an instant. One of the things that affects most sufferers is the loss of being independent. I mean if you are flat on the floor and can’t turn your head without puking and need someone to get a bucket – independence has gone out the window! I can’t drive so I have to rely on other people to get me where I am going, and I think my husband feels like the permanent chauffeur. And he is the shopper as well. Just trying to go down the fluorescent lit, multi colored aisles with people moving up and down them it enough to throw me off my axis. One of the things I have missed the most is traveling. We have made some fairly long car and camper trips, but haven’t left New England. We haven’t been on a cruise in nine years after enjoying seven trips prior to that. My husband has done two cruises without me. Missed freedom and independence is real.

But I don’t write this blog to be a downer(really!) I wanted to talk about pushing my limits. The opportunity came up for me to travel for business and I decided to go for it. It means a six-hour plane flight, strange cars and a location I know nothing about. I have to say I am excited to travel again. I will be on my own which makes it harder because I am more comfortable with my safety person beside me. I have this fear of getting dizzy on the plane and totally freaking out and needing to be slapped or sedated. Even worse being stuck for 6 hours really dizzy with a plane full of people who don’t care about me or what is wrong. Even with that being said, I am going to do it anyway. I can’t let fear and vertigo win anymore – I need to regain that part of my life. So I plan very carefully, take extra care of myself prior to leaving and hope everything goes well. I will share my travel adventures when I get back so you can know how it went. For me, I feel like I am going from missed independence to Miss Independent and I love it!!!

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